


Viral

by ohayohimawari, thetoxicstrawberry



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Funny, Humor, Kakashi Loves Him, M/M, Modern Era, Obito did not survive getting crushed by a rock for this, Random & Short, Sequel to Busted, Silly, This is what happens when Berry & Hima are left unsupervised, Walmart, Walmart Obito Rides Again, art and fic collab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27867813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohayohimawari/pseuds/ohayohimawari, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetoxicstrawberry/pseuds/thetoxicstrawberry
Summary: Kakashi has to break the news to Obito that their latest Wal-Mart shopping trip has made them (in)famous.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 8
Kudos: 74





	Viral

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Busted](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780414) by [ohayohimawari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohayohimawari/pseuds/ohayohimawari), [thetoxicstrawberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetoxicstrawberry/pseuds/thetoxicstrawberry). 



> A sequel to our ridiculous collab "Busted." 
> 
> We do not own these characters (and we swear that we love them); we've had too much fun getting them arrested (again).

“Are you comfortable?” Kakashi asked as he added another pillow behind Obito’s head.

“Yeah,” Obito replied gruffly, freeing his hand from the sleeve of his snuggie to hook his fingers around the handle of his nearby coffee mug. “What’s so important that you can’t wait to show me?”

“Well,” Kakashi scratched at the back of his head, and the apologetic expression on his face put Obito on his guard, “I wouldn’t say it’s important, more like a it-would-be-better-if-you-found-out-this-way kind of thing.”

Obito blinked. “What did you do?”

“Ah—see, that’s where you’re wrong,” Kakashi stretched out beside Obito and looped one arm behind the other’s head. “It’s not about what I did; it’s what you did,” he grabbed his mobile phone off the end table beside him.

Obito watched as Kakashi ran his thumb through the code to unlock his screen, and the fact that he’d missed those hands during the last two days of his life softened his suspicions.

But then, a video appeared on the screen.

“‘Granny Tackles Bum’?!” Obito shrieked as understanding dawned on him.

“I didn’t name it that; one of my students did when they shared it and, I guess it stuck.”

“I—”

Whatever scathing remark Obito was about to unleash was cut short when he heard himself yelling in the video.

_“It’s already in the bagging area!” Obito shouted at the self-checkout machine, furious that its artificial intelligence tried to outsmart him. Meanwhile, the camera angle leveled out as Kakashi’s hands held it steady to capture the chaos of his husband._

_“Oh, good afternoon Mr. Hatake,” another voice came from off-camera, “I always seem to run into teachers at Wal-Mart on the weekends.”_

_Kakashi turned to greet the newcomer, and the camera followed him. “Ah, good afternoon, Principal Umino.”_

_Principal Umino’s eyes darted between the camera and the one that held it. “Are you filming?”_

_“Shh, yeah, it’s live on Facebook,” Kakashi replied as the camera turned to capture Obito once more. His deep chuckle came from off-camera._

_Obito had his back to the camera as he thrust his purchases into the environmentally hazardous plastic bags. Each vigorous movement caused ripples through the discolored, stretched-out t-shirt he wore, layered over fleece pajama bottoms which appeared suspicious, not because of the cheerful unicorns printed on them, but because they bulged in ways that betrayed that more than Obito was concealed within them. The fact that they were tucked into mismatched rainbow-striped toe socks was another dead giveaway that he didn’t intend to purchase everything that he had picked up in the store that day._

_Obito pulled another item out of the shopping basket and assessed it before running it across the scanner. “Are you sure you wanted the banana-flavored lubri—”_

_“This is my boss, Principal Umino,” Kakashi loudly interrupted from off-camera._

_Obito swiftly and silently scanned the item and dropped it in the bagging area. Then, he turned to the newcomer and greeted him with finger-guns, unabashedly showcasing the orange stain on the tips that comes from eating an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting._

“I have a good face for a beard,” Obito spoke above the video, congratulating himself on his latest facial feature when he observed it.

Kakashi regarded him, noting how proudly his husband stroked the scraggly whiskers which pushed out every which way in patches across his chin and cheeks. “It’s filled in a little more in the last couple of days,” he offered, hoping it helped to soften the blow of what was to come in the video.

“Yeah?” Obito smiled, hearing more in the compliment than what was intended, which was just as Kakashi hoped. “I still can’t believe that manager recognized me with it, though.”

Kakashi bit back a snicker and returned his attention to the video.

_Obito lowered the empty shopping basket to the floor and carefully pulled his wallet from his pocket so as not to jostle whatever else he had hidden in it. He tapped the payment button on the screen and abruptly turned to face Kakashi. “Hey-did you bring the coupon for my, um,” he pointed to one foot and wiggled his brightly-colored toes, “cream?”_

_“Yeah,” Kakashi answered, and the camera angle shifted with his movements to Principal Umino, whose eyes looked everywhere but at Obito in his embarrassment._

_The camera followed Obito as he completed his partial purchase and started to walk to the door to leave Wal-Mart. The pig-tailed blonde store manager was already blocking the exit doors, with her arms folded across her chest and a scowl on her face. To his credit, Obito didn’t break stride, not even when the door-greeter rose from her chair and approached him with more menace than any little old lady would be expected to project. Kakashi zoomed in on the scene, so close that the viewers could see the elderly employee’s name tag proclaiming her to be Chiyo._

_“I eat punks like you for breakfast,” was the only warning she gave before she charged at Obito, tackling him to the ground._

_Obito lay sprawled out, pinned to the ground with his items – both paid for and not – scattered all around him. Just outside the doors, two police cars pulled up, with their sirens wailing and lights flashing, illuminating the banner above the door and part of the store’s logo, “Live Better.”_

_“Should we help him?” Principal Umino squeaked his surprise before he hurried over to the fray and hovered over Obito’s prone figure, helpless and unsure._

_“He’s fine,” Kakashi replied, his laughter carrying on until the video ended._

Obito sulked in silence long after Kakashi set his phone aside. “Your ass looked great,” he attempted to soothe his husband into at least speaking to him.

“How many views,” Obito said low and almost dangerously.

“Ah,” Kakashi audibly swallowed, “around two million at last count.”

“Two million!” Obito exclaimed.

“I’m sure most of those are repeat views,” Kakashi tried to downplay it.

“You should’ve monetized it on YouTube!” Obito shouted, clarifying that which he was upset about. “Maybe then I wouldn’t have to sit in jail for two days waiting for your paycheck so that you could bail me out,” he pouted.

Kakashi wrapped both arms around Obito and squeezed him. “I’m sorry.”

“Why do you put up with me?” Obito mumbled.

Kakashi pressed his lips to Obito’s temple in a tender, lingering kiss. “Don’t you _ever_ change,” he whispered.


End file.
